Its not fair to say that you weren't thinking. you were thinking a lot about things that didn't really matter. now, thanks to you, im messed up, and i dont think that you really understand how much. its just this deep, sickening feeling that feels like everything has been sucked out. you know what? its probably useless trying to explain this to you; its not like you listen anyway. if i could, i would tell you about how lost, unsafe, and depressed i feel all the time, like something is missing. and guess what? you're the one that took it.
God, it was all there! everything that i had ever wanted was there, and you made it go away. if there's one thing that i wish i could do like you, its the ability to just put things to an end. if i could do what you did, i would put an end to all of this. but you know what? i can't. you taught me that. actually, you continue to reinforce it every day. i suppose that im a good learner by now.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Letter To You
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1 comments on this Letter Never Sent:
I wish we could go back in time and do it all over again. I wish that you never felt like you couldn't tell me about your past. What did I ever do you to you to make you feel that way? I loved you. For a year and a half when you were gone in Alaska, all I did was dream of the day you would come back to me. I would cry on my way to work. I would cry while I was AT work. I would think of you when my "new boyfriend" was with me and wish it was you. After me and him made love......I would roll over on my side and wonder why you left. When you would email me, my heart would beat in my face. Why did you stay gone so long. YOu didnt even look like yourself when you got back.....I hate myself for not being able tolove you now.
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