My heart is broken. That is such a cliche to say that but it is. I have never loved anyone like I love you.
My heart is yearning for you, for some recognition, for just a glimpse that you still love me that i havn't ruined things forever, that we can get back what we had. Love me, Love me, Love me. If I wish it deeply enough will it come true again. You said for as long as I wanted you you would love me, you said you couldn't say it enough but in the space of an afternoon you lost it. So was it even love? Did you know me? Did you really know me until that day?
I keep thinking about your eyes, how they used to look at me, how I could hardly look you back at it was too much, your eyes were amazing. I think about how you came up and hugged me in the kitchen, you were so strong and I was so weak. How when I kissed you I felt complete.
Im so angry with you, for not being able to understand, for making me wait, for not seeming to care anymore. Today I couldnt stop crying. This feeling that I have lost you is too overwhelming, I want to run from it, hide from it but I cant.
When I wake for a second, everything is Ok, I still have you and then after that second I know the truth again, that I let you down, that I let myself down and it hurts too much. I cant stand it.
I wonder if you will ever read this and if you do that you will know that it is me, that what we had was amazing, that for a while it was real. I thought I had found my soulmate in you, a poetic soul I could relate to on every level but it was a dillusion. I thought I dreamt you in to my life, I wanted you so much before I met you and now I have lost you. Everything is empty without you, you bought light in to everything in my life and now its dark and i am lost.
